Friday, February 04, 2005

I’m a Desperate Fan

I’m starting to truly question my sanity these days. Of all the things I could be doing on a Sunday evening, I find myself hopelessly glued to my television set at 10pm to watch what is probably the most hyped show on the airwaves…Desperate Housewives. Oh the shame of it all…

But I have to admit that I get a kick out of watching a group of characters with more money than they need getting into so much trouble every week. There’s the chick who was dating the teenager. And then there was the husband who killed the neighbor. I loved the episode where another teenager ran over a woman by accident after she snapped a picture of her daughter-in-law doing the nasty with the teen boy. And all of America knows about the neighborhood slut whose character managed to step outside of Wisteria Lane to create controversy for the NFL.

And then there was the time when one of the husbands had a heart attack while getting his groove on with an unfriendly housewife who was doubling as a high-priced ho. I can’t wait to see the fallout from the teen boy/housewife huddle, because the teen boy’s mama found out about the affair. It would be a waste of good script writing if they didn’t blow that whole drama out of the water…especially since the offending housewife’s husband is on his way to the joint on some Martha Stewart-type shit.

To be quite honest, all the rich White drama makes our Tales from the Hood seem like child’s play… And I guess that’s why I’m a fan.

On Desperate Housewives, the drama is endless. And I’m loving every minute of it.

The Legendary Ossie Davis Has Passed Away

Ossie Davis, the legend, is gone. They found him dead in his Miami hotel room this morning. He was in the middle of shooting the film, Retirement.

My heart goes out to Ruby Dee, his wife of 57 years. Together, these two have been symbols of African American creative genius for decades, and they clearly defied the Hollywood odds of successful actor/actress marriages.

Mr. Davis was perhaps one of the greatest African American actors of all time. He and his wife have always represented African Americans in a positive light…both on screen/stage and off. I will miss him, and I will pray for Ruby Dee.

Thank you, Mr. Davis, for sharing your talents with us. You have always been and outstanding example of Black manhood and Black courage. Your time in this life was well spent, and your legacy will endure forever. You were one of our heroes, and we will NEVER forget you.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Family Relations

I had to venture out to Los Angeles on business last week, and got some interesting “holla” from several of the men in my hotel. The majority of the “holla” came from dudes who ain’t worth mentioning, but there was one fella in particular who’s severe lack of game qualifies him for a brief post.

During one of the conference meeting sessions, the fire alarm went off, sending my group of about 90 participants outside to brave the elements. After a couple of minutes, we realized we had a false alarm and proceeded in a mass retreat back to our meeting room. As I was heading up the stairs, I heard, “Excuse me, Miss.”

“Hi,” I said as I turned to face this okay-looking brother decked out in hip hop gear and a baseball cap turned to the back.

“I don’t have a date for dinner tonight, and I was wondering if you would consider going out with me.”

Well, damn, how’s that for bold! He doesn’t give a shit what my name is, but he’s already convinced I should be by his side at dinner. It was an intriguing proposition, but for all the wrong reasons. So, I said…

“Well, I appreciate you asking, but I’m afraid I have to decline. I’m here on business, and already have a prior engagement this evening.”

Now, he must have missed all of that, because his next response was…

“I don’t have a date for dinner tonight, and I was wondering if you would be my date.”

Okay, damn. I thought we just covered that…

“I’m sorry. I appreciate you asking me, but unfortunately, I already have plans for dinner.” Notice the slight tweak in my language. I thought maybe that would do the trick. I was already starting to get strange looks from my peers who were wondering why this guy was keeping me from our interrupted meeting.

“Well, what about tomorrow night?”

“Unfortunately, I’m leaving first thing in the morning.”

“Oh, you don’t have to leave. I can pay for your room for the weekend.”

Oh yeah…like I’m just going to change all my travel plans to have dinner with some fool I don’t even know who still hadn’t bothered to ask my name.

“Well, that’s sweet of you, but unfortunately, I have to get back home first thing tomorrow.”

But, Brotha Man wasn’t trying to hear any of that.

“But, I’m Russell Simmons brother,” he said proudly like it was some rare badge of honor.

Was that supposed to be my cue to take off my thong and toss it at him as a promise of great things to come? This was truly a first. I have never had a dude try to woo me by announcing family relations like they should make any difference at all. Was he mistaking my business suit for a chickenhead uniform? Maybe this dude had me confused with Lil’ Kim’s cousin.

“Oh really! Well, that’s nice. But like I said before, I have dinner plans tonight and will be leaving in the morning. I hope you have a wonderful time anyway. I’ve got to get back to my meeting. See ya!”

And with that, I walked away.

What a joke! Will the real men of the world please stand up and show the rest of the knuckleheads how it’s supposed to be done! Cause I’ve had more than my fair share of these tired fools!

Now that I think about it though…he did kind of look like Russell Simmons...

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