Thursday, July 22, 2004

A Political Rant: I'm Leaving This Town!

It’s official. After four years of being back in the hometown that I said I’d never come back to, I’ve decided to make a break before I become such a bitter chick that nobody—even my Mama—would want to deal with me. And believe me…I am dangerously close to reaching that point.
 
I live in a town where diversity is about as popular as a fart in church. During the four years that I’ve been back, we had a race riot, several brothers killed by police, national probes into racial profiling practices by the police, and a brief scare that Jerry Springer would once again become mayor. Damn! That’s enough right there.
 
But, then let’s look at the workforce. There ain’t nothing but lily-White companies everywhere you look. Of course, you can get a job as a Black person, but you had better be prepared to assume a backseat role. Your opinions…they don’t want to hear them. Your advice…they don’t think you have any worth hearing. Your brain…as long as you can demonstrate that you have one on your resume, yet avoid acting like you know anything on the job, you’ll be okay. Bottom line…help them reach their racial quotas, while sacrificing any attempts to better yourself. That’s the rule of the game.
 
In fact, the game got so out of hand during the past few years that we gained national headlines for a boycott, which was extremely misunderstood halfway because of the powers that be and halfway because the organizers were such a mess. Following the death of a young black man who was shot because he was running from police, got cornered, and reached to pull up his saggy jeans, the organizers called for a boycott of all downtown businesses. But there was no formal messaging behind the boycott. How did they expect people to get behind it when there was no understanding as to what needed to happen for the boycott to end? That’s Black folks in this town, for you. They obviously read the section of their history books about the boycotts in the South, but I guess they skipped over all the details about organization…having a mission that everybody is clear on…you know…stuff like that. But the powers that be are no better. All they did was constantly try to paint “we are the world” pictures of this town, while refusing to meet with boycott organizers because they didn’t get along with them. And all this was happening under a spotlight of national attention.
 
And how can you take a town seriously when its most popular, and celebrated, mayor was none other than Jerry Springer. And he was elected mayor even after getting caught writing a check to a prostitute while he was a City Councilman.
 
Mark Twain once said something to the effect that, if the world was about to end, he’d want to move to this town because the folks here wouldn’t find out about it for at least 20 years. That’s a shame, but it sure is the truth. They haven’t figured out much about anything in the way of progress. That’s why I have to get the hell out of dodge. I’m leaving this town, and I’m not coming back…except to see my mama, of course.

Question: Are we still in the midst of the boycott, or have we moved on to planning Jerry Springer’s run for President?

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

On Relationships: Why Do I Have to Wait?

My Girl and I were out shopping, and she was telling me about this guy she wanted to hook me up with. He sounded good on paper, and she described his character to be quite decent. So, I’m calculating the potential secretly in my head. Lord knows I am overdue for a quality relationship with a strong Black man. What she was describing sounded good to me, and she made a pretty good reference based on what I knew about her standards. So, me and Dude hook up. 

The date is lovely. Nice food, good conversation, lots of puppy-love eye contact, sexual tension…you know where I’m going here. He was single and not even dating a little bit. Social calendar clean as a whistle. Wanted all the same shit I wanted. So, when the date is over, we go back to my place supposedly to partake in some “herbalities.” Well, we actually do handle the herb, but we also handle our “business.” And it was great. We made plans for the remainder of that weekend.
 
So, I call Little Miss Matchmaker the next day to give her the low down. She just flat out asks me, “Did you give him some?” I’m grown, and she is my friend…so I said yes. She about flipped out with all this Scarlet O’Hara babbling about how I should wait to give up the pum-pum and not give Dude too much too fast. About how giving it up too quickly might make Dude get too comfortable. He might stop thinking he has to work to keep me. Basically, the whole relationship might just get shitty from this point. 

And I got a problem with that. Now, I love my friend dearly, but I need to draw a line. 

When I had sex with Dude, I did it because I wanted to. There was no ulterior motive behind it. I was feeling him and I went for it. I did it to satisfy me, not him. I don’t use the coochie as a tool of munipulation. I use it as an instrument to please me. Don’t get it twisted. 

I understand what she was trying to say, and I know she was trying to look out for me. But I have a problem with this outdated thinking about what is sexually acceptable for men as opposed to women. In this situation, Dude is probably considered a player by most standards. He scored.
 
However, according to the traditional rules, I lowered myself. Now, he doesn’t have to treat me like a lady anymore.
 
So, I guess if I had waited a month to give him some, it just would have taken that long for things to go from sugar to shit. I would have had a great relationship for a little while and then it would be over. And I’d just be horny and upset.
 
Well, I say if he’s going to act like an ass, it’s better to find out sooner than later. And I also propose these new guidelines: 

  • Men who declare women who sleep with them “too soon” as whores must also declare themselves the same, if not worse. They, unlike the women in the situation, are knowingly associating their bodies with someone they think is not worthy of their affection. To me, that makes them flat out trifling and immoral! It also implies that they must have low opinions of themselves.
  • People must open their minds to the possibility that women like me just might want to get some too, and don’t want to wait. Hell, I’m in my 30s. This is my prime…and I’m gonna get mine!
  • As grown folks, we must stop playing these silly dating games and abiding by these dumb ass rules. I say, do what you feel when you feel it. If you can look at yourself comfortably in the mirror the next morning, then who gives a yah-hoo what anybody else thinks? 

I was able to explain a little of this to My Girl, and I think she understood my point. Me and Dude have another date this weekend, and as far as the pum-pum goes…all I can say is that he’s still loving it. And it’s been several months now.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

A Bit of Commentary: Allow Me to Introduce Myself

Hello and thank you for joining me. I’m Just Me, and this is my blog. It’s not journalism, literature, propaganda, poetry, or even a good diary entry after a drama-filled day. It’s just me saying what I want to say because I feel like saying it.
 
The topics I’m prepared to discuss reflect the shit that bothers me, intrigues me, concerns me, affects me or involves me in some way. I’ll talk about current events, relationships, politics, family and everything else in between. It would be nice if you dropped me a line from time to time to suggest topics of your own or add your two cents to the views expressed. I like open dialogue, but please keep all questions and comments free from rudeness. If you’re not feeling what I’m saying, there’s probably another blogger out there you can holler at.
 
I certainly won’t be trying to offend anybody. And I’m no expert by anybody’s standard. I’m Just Me: a black female, early 30s, born and raised in the Midwest but moved away for ten years, have no man, got a good job, and have one of the worst credit reports in history. But I have a good heart and far more than half a brain, so you should be able to gather some data that at least makes you think.
 
So join me on this journey toward answers and probably more questions. Together, we’ll talk about life and say the things that people know deep down, but generally don’t say, because it goes against the status quo. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the status quo. And while you’re here, you shouldn’t either. Just open your mind, lighten up or do whatever you need to do. ‘Cause I’m about to talk shit…and I ain’t scared to say it!

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