Thursday, December 09, 2004

Big Sister Wisdom

I'm goin' through it, ya'll. I'm not even going to try and lie. I know my man was just using me, but I'm having a hard time shaking feelings of guilt over putting him out on his ass. It's the nurturer in me, I guess.

So, I was talking to my sister about the whole drama. At the time, she just listened. But today, she sent along these words of wisdom...

hey you...
i have something that i need to tell you.
do you realize how wonderful you are? do you realize how much you have going for you? do you realize how absolutely beautiful you are? how smart you are? how spirtually grounded you are? how much fun you are? do you know that i could go on forever listing assets?

if you know like i know, then you should also know that you dont need to accept no shit. look back over the course of the relationship with dude...you have dealt with a LOT of BULLSHIT since the beginning...and it has not been that long. we both know that when it comes to a relationship, it will never be 50/50. its just the nature of the beast...women always give more.

more.

not all.

you deserve much better than that. you deserve a man that can meet you on your terms. and dont allow loneliness (the devil in disguise) to make you think otherwise. dont allow family or society to bait you into feeling that you need a man. you dont. think of it spiritually, do you really think that God intended for you to be miserable in a relationship? do you really think that it's about temporary satisfactions of the flesh (this man got it goin on in the bed, he can make me an occassional meal or two, he cleans the house every now and then) only to realize in hindsight that it was done not out of the kindness of his heart, but in order to get something for himself down the line? real men understand their place, and it is NOT to allow another woman to take care of them. ever. every man that you will meet just wont make the cut. not saying dont date them. not saying dont do yo' thang. but you dont have to try to MAKE him a perminant fixture in your life. your lifelong mate will choose you. not the other way around. we as women dont choose our husbands, they choose us. because when that man chooses you, that means that he is ready for the responsibility of loving you. trying it any other way is going against the divine purpose of God...and doing that is setting yourself up for failure and heartache. He never intends for us to suffer, ever!

ok...so off my soap-box i go. but remember that room i told you to go in? are you there? STAY YO' AZZ IN THERE! cause let me tell you this. as inherintly dumb as they are (men), they know how to be manipulative when they know that a woman, a good woman, genuinely cares for them. to manipulate someone that i know cares about me???what kind of person does that make me? would you do that to someone? then dont allow that fool to do it to you. what the hell do you have to feel guilty about? cause you wont let a grown, able body man live in your house, eat your food, use up your energy, steal your spirit and not contribute a damn thing? reading it like that makes you say, " what the hell??" OF COURSE YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILTY! last time i checked, i dont have any nieces or nephews from you. so that means, you have no children. and to me that means, you dont have to take care of anyone but your damn self. which, let me be frank and say, you are NOT doing because you were allowing that fool to bring you down. i wanted to ask you when we were in Atlanta what the hell you were doing with your money. well now i know. and if you dont want your big sistah whoopin your tail, ya betta stop taking care of grown azz men!!! :-) thats not your responsibility AT ALL. and i am willing to bet that the Big Man upstairs has my back on that statement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you more than life. i need for you to go look in the mirror and realize what everyone else already knows. you are the muthafreakin shit. there aint no two ways about it.

Big Sis


I truly love my sister for those words. And the room she's asking me to stay in is the "Fuck that Man" room. I've gone inside that room now...and I'm locking the door!

4 Comments:

At 5:51 PM, Blogger Rod said...

Your sister is right. And that's coming from a brotha's point of view.

Not to belittle Malcolm X's words but, for us to have peace together, we must first peace within ourselves. (he was talking about civil rights and segregation, but you know what I'm talk'n bout)

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger Jdid said...

very wise words from your big sis. definetly no need for you to feel guilty.

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger The Marlo Girl said...

damn. i wish i had a big sister to give me some ass-kicking words of advice like that.

i need to find me a fuck-that-man room... going thru some shit myself, right now.

i'm feeling you, sis... and even though she's not MY sister, i'm feeling her words, too.

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger JustMe said...

Hey The Marlo Girl,

Glad you stopped by. Yeah, my sister was deep on that one...and she stays on me each day to make sure I'm still in that room. It's sooooo hard to stay there when you truly did care for the person.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Be strong, be smart and remember to love yourself first.

Peace!

 

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